My Missing Piece

    The best laid plans are that, plans. Things change whether or not you are ready. I wasn't ready, Jacob wasn't ready, but we had to pickup the pieces and reevaluate what was best for Jacob. That really is the most important thing right there. Being your child's advocate is the most important thing you can do for them. Disabilities or not, you know them best.  You know what they need what their strengths and weaknesses are and you should fight for them. I see so many parents not even engaging in their children's services.  Trust me, we picked up and left one and asked for changes when we knew they were not a good match. Well it looks like we are at another turning point where that puzzle piece is changing and we need to find a better fit.
    We have decreased ABA services to make room for Jacobs schooling. He did the same school program last year, but I saw a train wreck coming two days in this year. He was so far behind and not getting the same attention towards his lessons as last year from ABA. So now he is home all morning with me doing school. Two days in and I'm happy to say its working for now. I have him enrolled in a online public/charter school. It has been great for him in so many ways. He gets the math and science he craves and breaks when needed. He gets some of his services through it as well like speech, social group and Occupational Therapy. He has made a few friends and now I see so much more time with him might be what I needed.

    I was missing him. He makes me laugh, he challenges me and makes me a better person.

End

The end. The end of my rope, the end of dance, and the end of school...for this year.

I think this year has been good in so many ways. Our online school choice was a perfect

fit for Jacob. He was able to skip a grade to challenge him this year and was able to get

the services he needed for speech, OT  and social group. They exceeded my 

expectations for an online school.  He actually seemed to get more out of it than the 

regular Brick and mortar school. He was able to get breaks from his school work and

get through his lessons and is doing well. I would say A honor roll this semester is a 

great achievement while getting used to a new way to learn. He was more flexible and 

even got through state testing with minor issues. I am proud of his hard work,  his 

willingness to get each days lessons done despite the ones he dislikes. All writing 

assignments were a battle, but we made it through.  It's the end of third grade and 

onto fourth.

     We have had issues at dance and whether or not we will continue next school year. 

His focus was gone after this spring. He was constantly in trouble and not appearing to 

be learning anything.  It was frustrating to watch. He constantly was getting electronics 

taken away due to bad behavior. It was the negative reinforcement trap we were stuck in.

A vicious cycle we couldn't break. Even though you ask him if he wants to do dance and

he says yes,  his behaviors seem to say otherwise.

  He mentioned martial arts. So we are jumping on that. I read a few articles listing 

Taekwondo as a good one for autism. So we are officially signed up and seeing if this is 

for him. Our concern is trying to keep jacob active. Instill a physical activity so that his

free time is not consumed with electronics. He always gravitates to those, which is fine 

for a child who doesn't become obsessive compulsive about it. I have hope that the 

future holds something for him. Whether it's just for fun or maybe a stress reliever.

Hen Hen

   We have added a new member to our little family this year and his name is Henry or as Jacob likes to call him "Hen Hen". With Hen Hen around things are definitely different around here some good and some bad. Jacob is finding ways to test us and see how far he can get with stuff before he is caught. The stinker knows our attention has been going towards Henry and he's banking on the extra 10 minutes he can squeeze in before bed playing the DS or grabbing that extra mini muffins pouch from the pantry while no ones looking. We have some new behaviors that have cropped up since the little guy came and we are trying to work through them. I knew there would be some transitional issues with Henry around, but its spilling over to everything from home, to dance, and now therapy. We are going to try to work though them the best we can, I know it will take time.
  Now there are moments when I see how much Henry makes Jacob pause and smile. He is not one to ask to hold him, which he has done maybe a hand full of times. But I asked him to here in this picture and as I came back into the room I caught him looking him over and kissing the top of his head. I heard him say "I love you Hen Hen" ever so quietly. I know he does love him in his own way and will be a great big brother!

Summer Break

    This is a unpublished post I was working on last summer and the same feelings have come back yet again as summer approaches:

     I miss my little man. I for years have felt like I have missed out on spending time during his preschool years until now and 4 summers worth. I don't think people realize how much time he spends in therapy. It's 40 hours a week! Its like having a job. I take him out for special occasions, family outings, and appointments, but I feel a gaping hole that  I haven't spent the time with him that I wanted too. I know it's for the best because we have been told many times early intervention is so important and insurance typically in the past starts dropping hours at this age. It is interesting that the insurance companies say he can get that at the public school system. Just so you know, they do not have ABA nor do they implement it in their program. In fact after giving them suggestions to do so in kindergarten and them not doing so we saw how that ended. It was a nightmare that I don't want to repeat.
    I hope this sacrifice is worth it. I for now have to pack in all the fun we can when he does get to be home!

I hope that I can pack in as many memories as I can in his time off in this coming summer like we did last summer as well.