From my oldest child's cancer to my oldest sons Aspergers and to the death of a little one I am a shade of who I was in the past. Some friends and family avoid even telling me what the hell is going on. I care, and it saddens me. Its like they don''t want to burden me with whats going on in their lives, but if they only knew that such distractions are a welcome release from the issues around me. But trying to understand these individuals is like listening to a foreign language I've never heard before and I have no clue what they are saying or why they are not here anymore. I totally get it, I'm full of baggage and issues that by asking me how I'm doing might bring about a issue you don't want to hear about. Plus I've changed a great deal, I know life is not full of sunshine and lollipops and maybe my life is too much of a reality check for some.
So I've been quiet for sometime, probably distant and if I have been I'm truly sorry. It's proabably my fault. I try to share positive things about what is going on even though daily I'm burdened with so much. My children have become the center of all I do and can do. Dealing with their schedules, restrictions, therapy, and all that encompasses their well being is a must. I try my best to surround my children and myself with happy times, positive influences and memories. My needs are always last as is seems. But then there are those that are here pulling me out of the storm.
With the occasional random call, the oddball text or message, the offer to help with the kids, the lending ear that listens and encourages our choices and the words of encouragement when I have shared something sad have lifted me up and you know who you are. Thank You, and thank you for being my life raft in a sea of crazy that helps bring me back to normal, whatever that is.
