As I sit here with my second cup of hot tea this morning I am weighted with more decisions that I have for Jacob. In a happy world I wouldn't have to plan ahead knowing that his ABA therapy will decrease in hours in the next few years because insurance will not cover him since he should be able to go to school right? I mean that is our goal anyway. To be able to get through the day and be "normal". Well last year didn't work so now what? One thing I have learned through all this is that mistakes are bound to happen and one persons normal is not another ones normal. If I seem cryptic I don't mean to be. I want to give Jacob opportunities to work on behaviors and I thought I was doing a great job but just had a wake up call that I am really not. Plus we might be throwing away hours of therapy by attempting to plug in home school at home and doing social and speech therapy outside of ABA. We are losing hours that the insurance will not give us later. I feel like a juggling act gone bad. What should we do? I don't know, I thought that we were doing what was best for him, I know I'm being overly critical of myself. I have pushed with him on so many things and thought it was enough. I now need to step it up. This is more of those hard choices I was talking about before.