Expectations

   After having a conversation about my littles with a wonderful woman we met on vacation I have come to realize that others have high expectations on Jacob.  She inquired about my two oldest ages and was in complete shock to find out not only were they 4 years apart in age that they in fact were not twins. I was in shock about that and then I just watched them for a minute in the distance. I guess Jacob is as big and even bigger than his sister. Just yesterday he put on a shirt and boy was it tight! It seems he has hit another growth spurt. He wears boys 18 and he is 10. Just saying that is surreal. He actually has two medical issues. Autism spectrum being one but Beckwith Weidemann Syndrome being the other. With this one being larger for your age is normal. Unfortunately for him his maturity level is that of a 6 year old in a 10 year olds body and who wears the size of an 18 year old. 

   It has been years of struggle out in public with behaviors so much that the days I say "lets go do this" and come home with regrets I even tried. There are high expectations of just behaving from me, but now that thought that others are going to have even higher expectations with just the fact he looks so much older. Yes, he is highly intelligent but boy can things change with the flip of a switch.  I am hoping that things get better for him this year. I am worried with 6th grade comes many new responsibilities on doing things on his own. Which I have been trying to prep him on all last year.  I guess what I am saying is I am not upset about others perceptions as I am with him struggling to fit into this world. I am going to try to be positive for this coming school year and hope he stops growing because I seriously now need to check the sales and get him new clothes now......

Life Rafts

    Dealing with a parent with a child with special needs can be a pain the ass. No, I'm serious, we seem lost, flighty and at times like we just have too much going on. That is because we do and we try our best to seem like things are normal or running smoothly but they aren't. I've been on a roller coaster I didn't want on since 2008.

     From my oldest child's cancer to my oldest sons Aspergers and  to the death of a little one I am a shade of who I was in the past. Some friends and family avoid even telling me what the hell is going on.  I care, and it saddens me. Its like they don''t want to burden me with whats going on in their lives, but if they only knew that such distractions are a welcome release from the issues around me. But trying to understand these individuals is like listening to a foreign language I've never heard before and I have no clue what they are saying or why they are not here anymore. I totally get it, I'm full of baggage and issues that by asking me how I'm doing might bring about a issue you don't want to hear about. Plus I've changed a great deal, I know life is not full of sunshine and lollipops and maybe my life is too much of a reality check for some. 

       So I've been quiet for sometime, probably distant and if I have been I'm truly sorry.  It's proabably my fault. I try to share positive things about what is going on even though daily I'm burdened with so much. My children have become the center of all I do and can do. Dealing with their schedules, restrictions, therapy, and all that encompasses their well being is a must.  I try my best to surround my children and myself with happy times, positive influences and memories. My needs are always last as is seems. But then there are those that are here pulling me out of the storm.

   With the occasional random call, the oddball text or message, the offer to help with the kids, the lending ear that listens and encourages our choices and the words of encouragement when I have shared something sad have lifted me up and you know who you are. Thank You, and thank you for being my life raft in a sea of crazy that helps bring me back to normal, whatever that is.

My Missing Piece

    The best laid plans are that, plans. Things change whether or not you are ready. I wasn't ready, Jacob wasn't ready, but we had to pickup the pieces and reevaluate what was best for Jacob. That really is the most important thing right there. Being your child's advocate is the most important thing you can do for them. Disabilities or not, you know them best.  You know what they need what their strengths and weaknesses are and you should fight for them. I see so many parents not even engaging in their children's services.  Trust me, we picked up and left one and asked for changes when we knew they were not a good match. Well it looks like we are at another turning point where that puzzle piece is changing and we need to find a better fit.
    We have decreased ABA services to make room for Jacobs schooling. He did the same school program last year, but I saw a train wreck coming two days in this year. He was so far behind and not getting the same attention towards his lessons as last year from ABA. So now he is home all morning with me doing school. Two days in and I'm happy to say its working for now. I have him enrolled in a online public/charter school. It has been great for him in so many ways. He gets the math and science he craves and breaks when needed. He gets some of his services through it as well like speech, social group and Occupational Therapy. He has made a few friends and now I see so much more time with him might be what I needed.

    I was missing him. He makes me laugh, he challenges me and makes me a better person.

End

The end. The end of my rope, the end of dance, and the end of school...for this year.

I think this year has been good in so many ways. Our online school choice was a perfect

fit for Jacob. He was able to skip a grade to challenge him this year and was able to get

the services he needed for speech, OT  and social group. They exceeded my 

expectations for an online school.  He actually seemed to get more out of it than the 

regular Brick and mortar school. He was able to get breaks from his school work and

get through his lessons and is doing well. I would say A honor roll this semester is a 

great achievement while getting used to a new way to learn. He was more flexible and 

even got through state testing with minor issues. I am proud of his hard work,  his 

willingness to get each days lessons done despite the ones he dislikes. All writing 

assignments were a battle, but we made it through.  It's the end of third grade and 

onto fourth.

     We have had issues at dance and whether or not we will continue next school year. 

His focus was gone after this spring. He was constantly in trouble and not appearing to 

be learning anything.  It was frustrating to watch. He constantly was getting electronics 

taken away due to bad behavior. It was the negative reinforcement trap we were stuck in.

A vicious cycle we couldn't break. Even though you ask him if he wants to do dance and

he says yes,  his behaviors seem to say otherwise.

  He mentioned martial arts. So we are jumping on that. I read a few articles listing 

Taekwondo as a good one for autism. So we are officially signed up and seeing if this is 

for him. Our concern is trying to keep jacob active. Instill a physical activity so that his

free time is not consumed with electronics. He always gravitates to those, which is fine 

for a child who doesn't become obsessive compulsive about it. I have hope that the 

future holds something for him. Whether it's just for fun or maybe a stress reliever.

Hen Hen

   We have added a new member to our little family this year and his name is Henry or as Jacob likes to call him "Hen Hen". With Hen Hen around things are definitely different around here some good and some bad. Jacob is finding ways to test us and see how far he can get with stuff before he is caught. The stinker knows our attention has been going towards Henry and he's banking on the extra 10 minutes he can squeeze in before bed playing the DS or grabbing that extra mini muffins pouch from the pantry while no ones looking. We have some new behaviors that have cropped up since the little guy came and we are trying to work through them. I knew there would be some transitional issues with Henry around, but its spilling over to everything from home, to dance, and now therapy. We are going to try to work though them the best we can, I know it will take time.
  Now there are moments when I see how much Henry makes Jacob pause and smile. He is not one to ask to hold him, which he has done maybe a hand full of times. But I asked him to here in this picture and as I came back into the room I caught him looking him over and kissing the top of his head. I heard him say "I love you Hen Hen" ever so quietly. I know he does love him in his own way and will be a great big brother!

Summer Break

    This is a unpublished post I was working on last summer and the same feelings have come back yet again as summer approaches:

     I miss my little man. I for years have felt like I have missed out on spending time during his preschool years until now and 4 summers worth. I don't think people realize how much time he spends in therapy. It's 40 hours a week! Its like having a job. I take him out for special occasions, family outings, and appointments, but I feel a gaping hole that  I haven't spent the time with him that I wanted too. I know it's for the best because we have been told many times early intervention is so important and insurance typically in the past starts dropping hours at this age. It is interesting that the insurance companies say he can get that at the public school system. Just so you know, they do not have ABA nor do they implement it in their program. In fact after giving them suggestions to do so in kindergarten and them not doing so we saw how that ended. It was a nightmare that I don't want to repeat.
    I hope this sacrifice is worth it. I for now have to pack in all the fun we can when he does get to be home!

I hope that I can pack in as many memories as I can in his time off in this coming summer like we did last summer as well.

Waves

    It has been awhile since I've posted about the little man. I'm sorry about that, seems like I had my own struggles this year and had a hard time getting myself figured out. He has grown leaps and bounds this year. Learning a new homeschool program and succeeding in his first semester with almost straight A's! He has been working on his behaviors and even took on two more dance classes this year as well as two parts in their nutcracker production. Don't get me wrong here ,we have bad days, really bad days and even great days. It's like riding a wave you never know which way it is going or how hard it is going to crash.

    I still struggle with parents who don't understand that Autism is not something you can see on the outside. It is in inner battle and many people have their own battles inside and are considered "normal". His are just different and you can't always see them. When you do see them they take on many forms. Could be a sensory overload issue and then he has an outburst, or maybe he is sensory seeking which for Jacob is rough play or in the past touching others hair to calm himself. It could be a transition or a sudden change of plans that sets him off.  Oh riding the waves....
   Other waves we are riding lately are dealing with services for the little man. Seems like the minute we get everything right in order and he is getting in the groove of things and then something gets changed through insurance or school. It's driving me nuts. Despite the issues of not knowing what is next for him, he seems to get great support from those who try with him. I can hear it in his voice when I say your name to him or the giggle he makes when I tell him you are coming over or we are seeing you soon. Some of you have been lucky enough to hear him express his love to you and others yet don't realize he does but those of you who have made of a point of talking with him about the things he loves or just trying to understand him have helped him this year. He feels loved and I love that!
  We took a trip in the spring to the ocean. He just loves the beach he had only been to the lake. This was his first trip to the ocean that he remembers and he was timid of the waves, but with encouragement from his sister he was loving them and riding them in. Ahh the waves. Thank you to all who have encouraged him, tried to connect with him and help him grow!

A Fish In Water

     Feels like we have been through enough this school year and any happy endings have been a welcoming surprise. Jacob struggled this year, but I have seen so much growth as well.  Not just the belly hanging out of pjs and pants turning into waders type of growth either. He has been doing really well with his ABA therapy and seems to have done really well in speech and social group too. He seems more engaged with others around him and has been working on including peers and playing nicely together.  I hate to make more changes for next year, but I have signed him up for an online homeschool program next year.
      I think he did great this year, but I want to give him more. I feel like I might of been lacking and it was a juggling of sorts too. I basically was his curriculum coordinator and sent all his work to be completed at ABA.  It was nice to have control of what he struggled on and tailor it to where he was at academically.  I felt like I finally knew where he was at and what he needed. But I still had that need to have him in an accredited program.  I felt like I might be missing something important. He just took the placement tests for this new program. I don't know why I'm surprised, but they said he should be in fourth or fifth grade. He is a 1st grader.......I worked hard on second grade last year with him and did know his math skills were that far. But I can't imagine him skipping that many grades in a new program. I told them 3rd grade for next year. I hope I'm not doing the wrong thing, my thoughts were to get him adjusted to the new program next year and after that he would surely qualify for the gifted program  the next year and take more challenging  courses. I struggled last year too.
     Thinking he would go back to public school. People questioning why we didn't give the public school a second chance.  I held out hope that he would be able too, but after this year I can see why it will not be an option for years to come. Call it a mother's intuition or whatever, but he needs ABA like a fish needs water. Don't get me started on the fact that this whole skipping grades thing never would have happened at his old school. Because " He has an IEP, he can't skip grades". Yes lets keep focusing on his disabilities and ignore his abilities.....
    I was also surprised he did well in ballet this year. He moved up, but struggled this year once they introduced the barre exercises. I will be waiting till late summer to see if he wants to continue. He seemed so pleased with himself for making it through the classes and the end of the year showcase.  He needs the break right now both from dance and school. Summer should be a good time for him and he has earned a break.

Autism and Bereavement

     It has been a rough few months. I wanted to write about holidays and stress in January and how parties affect Jacob. Also his birthday in February, but things turned from pure excitement to a nightmare in a quick amount of time.  I will do my best to give you Jacobs perspective on this, but its been an all around hard time for us all. In December right before Christmas I found out we were going to have another child. I couldn't wait to tell the kids and surprised them with an early Christmas gift. In the box was ultrasound pictures of baby Charlotte and a pack of baby onesies. They seemed thrilled.

    For weeks the kids fought over the sex of the baby. Sophie hoping for a sister and Jacob a brother. Jacob declaring after a vote that sophie wanted nothing to do with that it was boy. He and I voted for a boy and I only voted for a girl since Sophie declined voting and not giving into such a silly way to determine the sex. 

    I was having issues spotting the first couple weeks and went in to have ultrasounds done every two weeks. Jacob told me it was a boy because it had short hair in those pictures. Cracked me up, by his logic short hair meant boy even though I constantly told him the baby had no hair right now. Baby was fine every ultrasound time, until the NT scan. Which this scan I had no idea was even a test until after the results because I had never gone through this test for any of my other children. 

   I don't want to get into a play by play of each appointment after, it was like a slow train wreck and quite frankly not something I want to relive. We would find out each time something worse about baby Charlotte. After each visit we told Sophia we were not sure she was going to make it and what they found. Jacob on the other hand was going to be hard to explain this to. We found out about the baby being a girl at the same time we found out she had trisomy 13. We did not tell him it was girl until after she passed away. 

    I discussed ways to have this talk with his therapy and they sent me to this site (http://www.oneplaceforspecialneeds.com) They have great social stories for this and they gave me some other resources on how to deal with death. This situation was a tricky one, and I wasn't sure how to go about it. So I showed him the information and tried to look at it from his perspective. Never dealing with death before and knowing how he didn't feel connected to Charlotte I tried to look at it how he would. I ran and grabbed a book about the body from his home school library. He love science so I could tell I had his attention, unlike the other stuff I showed him. I talked to him about the brain and its sections and how Charotte had no forebrain. I showed him the heart and its sections and how Charlotte had only a two chamber heart. I talked about how she didn't make it to be with us because of this. 

   I could tell he finally understood,  I was talking on his level and he understood she was "broken". He wasn't visibly upset on the outside, but we all grieve differently so I don't know how he is inside. Emotionally he still is a 4 or 5 year old so I didn't expect much. But he understood which is half the battle. He seems to be back to normal now, but I just need to my find my new normal, whatever that is.

The Nutcracker

I am sorry I haven't posted in over a month! I wanted to make sure I didn't jinx his first year with the Nutcracker at The Fort Wayne Ballet by even saying things were going good or by saying anything at all. I would say from the start I had my apprehensions as to how well the little guy would do.  It is weeks of practices and many late nights of rehearsal and then shows.  Ask any 6 year old to sit still and be good for two to three hours backstage is hard enough, but with someone like Jacob its twice as hard. I am going to start at the beginning.....

Even before this season I was thinking about this a year ahead, always have to think ahead...we took him to see his sister perform in the  2013 Nutcracker and he fell in love with Drosselmeyer and his magic.

 Next step...fast forward  May 2014 end of year showcase. All ballet classes perform on the stage for the family show. Will he love it? Yep, ate it up and asked to tryout for nutcracker in the fall.

Tryouts: I have been through this 4 years with Sophia so I knew the drill. Well they give the kids numbers to be pinned to their shirts and cart them off in groups. Of course there is the worry he would complain about not being #1 and the pins bothering him through the shirt but they didn't....thank goodness!  I thought it would be 30 minutes without seeing him, it ended up being over a hour. Without me there....I was freaking out and hoping there would be no huge meltdowns or issues. He came back smiling.

Cast lists: Worry set in, what if he didn't get a part? "Well he can't know what he's missing if he's never been in it" I was thinking. He got a part, it was a mouse, and it was exactly what he wanted!

Practice: I already talked with the teachers ahead of time about issues. They know he  might not do well sitting in the  classroom during the practices for over a hour with just waiting, so I kept him in the hall playing on his DS until his cast was needed.  During his time waiting his turn in the classroom practices he made goofy faces at himself in the mirror, played with the laces on his shoes, or sat there humming the music.  One time he did manage to get separated from the other boys and was playing with the equipment on the side of the room. I have to say overall he was great during practices and enjoyed doing his part.

Rehearsal nights: The longest nights. These were like a trial run really, and how would he handle wearing the makeup, the costume, the large stage, the lights and all the props? Well he did want to investigate props the first night, good get that out of the way. I know he was getting familiar with his surroundings and probably good so he can move on and next worry which was about the makeup the next night during dress rehearsal. Which of course  he protesting putting on. Then protested putting costume on. I just used some slight of hand momma bear sweet talk and boom he was in it! LOL He did great were the reports that came back.

Show time:  Jason and I had backstage passes just in case and throughout the whole thing we ended up using it three times. Honestly I was going to sit with him and be there the whole time. The more I thought about it I decided that would not be best. He needs to be independent and we were always downstairs if need be. I heard of issues in the dressing room, not from him but another child pestering him. I did have my little mother hen up there too, Sophia always looks out for him and it made my choice to stay downstairs even better. He was given some independence and he did ask for us and a break, I know it was to get away from the other child a few times and some were because the girls were so loud he couldn't read his Captain Underpants book. He complained of being hot in that costume and didn't like getting his makeup off either. He was even released early which helped with spending less time in the loud dressing room.  During one of the shows he made me crack up. There are security guards that check the kids in and Jacob told one of them he needed to go into the girls dressing room to check how the girls were doing.  The guards face was hilarious and I could tell he was trying to not laugh! He told him that he wasn't suppose to be in there, and of course Jacob protested. Jacob was supposed to be  with all the little girls thou, the guard probably thought he was suppose to be with the younger boys since hes so big, but they put the little guys with the little girls, since they all come dressed in there stuff anyways. LOL

Overall: I was told by a handful of parents they thought he was a sweet child and they enjoyed him being there. My heart ....so full after hearing that he made it through this and made some new friends.  I made sure to ask him while fresh in his head right as well left, what did you love about being in the nutcracker? I listed off all sorts of things like the stage, the music, costume and anything that popped into my head. His reply " Mommy I loved everything!" I then asked, What did you dislike about being in the Nutcracker? His reply " Nothing! I loved it all!" Then the big question, Do you want to do it next year? "YES!" was his reply. Well, we will see this next fall, we might be doing this all over again....

From Sophia

 

Hi!I am Jacobs big sister Sophia and I would like to talk about Jacob. My favorite thing about Jacob is that he is funny and has a very big imagination. One time he asked me to play Diversity. I asked him what that was and he said it was a Minecraft game, but he wanted to play it in real life. I thought that was very funny.
   Another thing I like about Jacob is that he knows stuff that we don't know.  Just the other day he was talking about atoms, protons, and antimatter. Then he said something about strange matter and we didn't think it was a real thing until we looked it up and the definition was the same thing Jacob had said to us.
  I love Jacob so much. I think that even though he has autism he is no different than any other kid.

Leaps and Bounds

We are moving in leaps and bounds! He definitely caught me off guard this week  with his educational plan. It
has me second guessing what material we should be working on. I am proud to say that I have moved him to second grade but in a more restrained manner. He is actually in 3 grade math and now fourth grade reading.  I am trying my best to get through skills that he hasn't done so he doesn't have too many splinter skills. His pace is months ahead of where I thought we should be and at this rate we will be in third grade by January for english skills. Just the other day I checked in his math program and the little stinker is moving up to fourth grade math! Sometimes I just have to take in the awes of Autism. These moments when I see the bright little man we have make up for all the days we struggle just to get our shoes on or even get that shower done in the morning!

The Cooper-Eager Observation

    We have stumbled upon the television series The Big Bang Theory. I have so much to say about Sheldon and now why I am now sucked into watching it.  I'm not one for watching shows that deal with what is going on with our family. I like the idea of escape and started to watch it this year just because I heard it was good. I had no idea I would get hooked on watching The Big Bang Theory and seeing so many similarities between Sheldon and Jacob. I know the writers say Sheldon doesn't have aspergers. I have read the articles and don't care if he is labeled that or not. What I do care about is how he is portrayed and how the other characters treat him. He doesn't need a label to see his struggles socially and what others find as his quirks are what I see as a combination of asperger like qualities. This page explains many and even talks about them in context of the show.(http://gypsumgirl.hubpages.com/hub/Sheldon-Cooper-PDs)
    What I love about the show is how even with all his personality quirks his friends try to understand him and in many ways try to help him with social issues he struggles with.  There are times where they are super frustrated in what he has said or done and try to explain to him what he has done is not acceptable behavior. It in a way gives me hope of people excepting Jacob and all his quirks. This week I have watched Jacobs manners around others and see that he struggles understanding them.  Also Jacob's way to start a conversion has changed from "excuse me" to "I want to say something".  He seems more patient in waiting to take turns and excepting no.
       He also went off telling me how much more brain power he had over mine. The little stinker knows he is smarter than others and sounded so like Sheldon in that moment I wanted to scream. I told him how rude that was to say that and that being smart also means knowing when not to say something that could hurt others feelings. I am so glad he is getting more ABA therapy this year and working on his behaviors instead of being at school full time. I have news in the school department but will write about that next post. His focus on his behaviors I think will be more beneficial in the long run.

Friends

   This is a subject that I have a hard time tackling with Jacob. He is so forgiving and doesn't understand when someone is being mean to him. I have caught him on so many occasions flat out ignoring what was said to him. I don't have the heart to tell him what the other child had said was mean and not sure how to have him confront such a child either. I almost like it that he ignores them so that he can move on. He doesn't seem to hold grudges against them either, because the next time he is with them he is happy to see them and calls them his friend.
   He does have some friends that are excepting of is social awkwardness. Most are adults. I feel tears well up just thinking about it. I just wish more parents would talk with their children about his disability and how to behave around him. One child told him he would be an embarrassment while preforming to his face. What is sad is I have told his parents of his disability and it leaves me speechless as to why he said mean things to him. I guess the parents never discussed this to their child, I don't feel it is my job to teach other peoples children what is appropriate to say to others. But what this child has said to Jacob on numerous occasions is inappropriate to say to anyone.
   I also have encountered the tattle tail children too. Making sure I know every wrong doing of Jacobs because again they think everything he is doing is somehow bad. When some of it is social miscommunication between their child and mine.  Again these children were never told of Jacob's disability and for some odd reason enjoy seeing him get in trouble for some reason or another. He continues to forgive these kids too because either he really wants friends or his heart is just to big for this world.....which I believe the later. He is so loving and to those who treat him with the most respect he gushes all over them!

Belly Giggles

I LOVE belly giggles! Something magically happens when my kids laugh. As if the worlds problems are on hold. I feel refueled when I hear them. They are what gets me through the tough times and makes the happy times over the top. I will admit I have been known to steal a few of these with tickles! I am a true believer that happiness is the best medicine. It doesn't cure everything, but it sure fills me up when I need it the most. Giggle on...

Change of Plans...What Plans?

As I sit here with my second cup of hot tea this morning I am weighted with more decisions that I have for Jacob. In a happy world I wouldn't have to plan ahead knowing that his ABA therapy will decrease in hours in the next few years because insurance will not cover him since he should be able to go to school right? I mean that is our goal anyway. To be able to get through the day and be "normal".  Well last year didn't work so now what? One thing I have learned through all this is that mistakes are bound to happen and one persons normal is not another ones normal. If I seem cryptic I don't mean to be. I want to give Jacob opportunities to work on behaviors and I thought I was doing a great job but just had a wake up call that I am really not. Plus we might be throwing away hours of therapy by attempting to plug in home school at home and doing social and speech therapy outside of ABA. We are losing hours that the insurance will not give us later. I feel like a juggling act gone bad. What should we do? I don't know, I thought that we were doing what was best for him, I know I'm being overly critical of myself. I have pushed with him on so many things and thought it was enough. I now need to step it up. This is more of those hard choices I was talking about before.
 

Jelly on the Belly

Since he was 6 months old we have had to get Jacob regular ultrasounds on his kidneys due to a genetic condition both he and his sister have. It is called Beckwith Wiedemann Syndrome. Here is a link to explain: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Beckwith-Wiedemann_syndrome. Basically an overgrowth syndrome and he had mild features at birth, but since his older sister had the kidney cancer associated with it we have him checked every three months. He will be getting these until 8 years old so we still have a year and half left. I try to make  it as fun as I can and distract him during it. At least it is painless unlike the blood tests they did until age 3. He loves calling it jelly on his belly and popping bubbles while we do the scans. Lately he is into watching his organs move while they do the scan. This week he managed to talk the technician into looking at his breakfast swimming in his belly and see his intestines and bladder. Only a matter of time before he asks to do it himself. Scans were clear, so I can now relax until November....

Figuring Out Jacob's Puzzle

The puzzle piece represents the Autism world with the idea that the causes of Autism are puzzling and the thought that any one with this condition does not fit in. I was thinking about a few things about the puzzle piece and how it relates to Jacob.  More of how I visually see his condition. I love puzzles and also have been really good at them since I was little. I do feel like everyday is a challenge and can see the the puzzle pieces. I feel like we get them together once and awhile but then one piece alters just as quickly as we get the pieces together. We haven't been afraid to stop trying to fit a piece that just wasn't working in Jacobs puzzle. We have switched therapy, preschool and now school to get him what services we think will be best for him. Autism is puzzling and I am reminded daily that I am going to be kept on my toes with him. Some times I torture myself with thoughts of how bad that event will be and it goes smoothly and others not expecting will be an issue and then they are. I honestly feel like it is a evolving puzzle one that changes as he grows. I love it that he challenges me, because with him I am a better person.

Starting Home School

  Home school came faster than I thought. I am so far three days in and have what I think is a great plan. Executing it will be another story. I have done enough thinking about what I am going to do to wear a person into frazzles. Now comes the fun part, teaching and spending time with Jacob. I have set aside two hours in the morning to work on home school. I also have him doing things at therapy the rest of the day to keep him on track for math and reading. The most challenging aspect of the whole thing has been figuring out where to start with him. Age wise, yes he is a first grader, but academically he is much higher. I am engaging him in science, writing and history this year as well as art. What is so great about this is he is going to have an individual educational plan that focusing on his weaknesses and we don't have to repeat or "review" what he already knows like it was in kindergarten for him.  If I ever hear "I'm bored" I would be surprised.  Him expressing this was a huge red flag before the anxiety attacks happened last fall at school. Having him tested last year was a great start to know where to begin with him. So I feel like we are prepared.
     I am honestly excited about being his teacher and wish I had done the same for Sophia. I know this is what he needs right now since he is such a different learner than what public school can accommodate for. I feel like he is going to have a great year and can't wait to see how much he grows.

Buying a Rocket Ship

Our space obsession has gotten serious now....So the other day Jacob was talking about the atmosphere and how many miles it takes to get out of the atmosphere and into space, which he says is around 60 miles. He then compared it to his dad's  running time which is 3 miles in 25 minutes and how it would be a long time to leave the atmosphere. Jason told him that there are quicker ways to leave the atmosphere by using a rocket for example. Jacob then asked if we could get him a rocket, and Jason told him he didn't have a rocket fund or money to get one. So fast forward to this morning, Jason comes home with four quarters from Grandpa. Jacob is super excited and says " Four quarters is a dollar, and I am going to save these up to buy my rocket ship". I don't have the heart to tell him he can't and how near impossible that is going to be. It will have to be a toy rocket for now.....